Dirty Tricks

The humans are playing dirty tricks. They are moving things so I am always tripping over them and falling down. I think Beans is in on it. She never trips and falls.

Obviously I have failed in my vigilance- the humans are besting me and making me look foolish. Sometimes they say things like “Poor old girl” and “Hey Lucy, are you alright?” when they’ve tripped me but I know their sympathy is a mockery.

It is a cruel joke to play on an old dog.

Why, why, why?!?

Today my pawrents were outside almost all day and we couldn’t be with them. Mom put us in the back yard and told us to “Go dog!” but I don’t think we’re very good at it.

Dad was doing something to his truck and mom was playing with her yarn. I think that’s what she calls that stringy stuff.

Then mom came into the back yard with us and went into her little room and she did some stuff while we laid on the floor. I really like that room – it’s very calm and relaxing but sometimes she says “No dogs!” and closes the door.

We all finally got to go back in the house, and then my pawrents left! I don’t know where they went but they didn’t come home until it was almost dinner time! I was so worried!

Damn You, Mailman!


My disappointment continues.

The mail carrier has come by multiple times, but he has failed to pay off his debts. This worries me because he still expects to be allowed to take part in our underground gambling ring, and we are getting low on biscuits.

The time to act is coming on us quickly, and I will have to devise a plan to make him pay up. In the meantime, I will be telling him exactly what I think when he comes by.

I may be old, but my bark is still fierce!

Denied Again

My mom made breakfast and she ate the leftover cow. The cow I needed for my stuffing. She didn’t share at all! I wanted it so bad I even put my nose up to the edge of the table and sniffed really hard but mom said “No cow for you, silly puppy!” and shooed me away.

I understand Lucy’s disappointment now. Life is hard.


I waited for the human who brings packages to come by so I could collect on his gambling debt, but he never showed up. My people said today was Sunday, and I would have to wait until tomorrow to give ’em hell.

The package bringer owes Beans and I quite a bit of money though and I want to collect on it to purchase canned food, and more biscuits.

So much disappointment in this lifetime.