Danger Noodles

My friend Amber is very upset and I don’t understand why. She says her mom was playing with the danger noodles again and she was so worried about her. Her mom says the danger noodles are safely locked up, but Amber still worries a lot.

This doesn’t look safe to me either!

Booper Snoot

The woman, she is not my mother, rather my step-mother, insists we play a game called booper snoot. In this game, I am made most undignified until a few minutes of time have passed and she relinquishes the game.

Booper snoot is clearly a game meant for puppies. It is not for those as dignified as I am.

Denied Again

My mom made breakfast and she ate the leftover cow. The cow I needed for my stuffing. She didn’t share at all! I wanted it so bad I even put my nose up to the edge of the table and sniffed really hard but mom said “No cow for you, silly puppy!” and shooed me away.

I understand Lucy’s disappointment now. Life is hard.

Disappointments

I waited for the human who brings packages to come by so I could collect on his gambling debt, but he never showed up. My people said today was Sunday, and I would have to wait until tomorrow to give ’em hell.

The package bringer owes Beans and I quite a bit of money though and I want to collect on it to purchase canned food, and more biscuits.

So much disappointment in this lifetime.

Unfair!

Tonight my people cooked a huge slab of cow. I love cow! Cow is my favorite! And they ate it without me! I was so upset but there’s nothing I could do about it because I’m a good girl and I don’t beg from the table.

Here’s the cow slab. Sorry its not a better photo, I’m not a very good photographer.

 

And here’s how much of it I got.